Conflict Alchemy

Conflict Alchemy

 Why Conflict Alchemy? Traditionally an alchemist was a person who could turn lead into gold. In Conflict Alchemy, it is the conflict which is heavy like lead. Working with this process you turn that heaviness into lightness and into a golden experience. You will finally feel relief from this heaviness.

Terri and Shaun, S.

My husband and I had tried other marriage and self-help services over the past couple of years. We wanted to see if our marriage could be saved. We heard about Conflict Alchemy through a friend and thought we had nothing to lose. Virginia explained that this process would not be easy. She was right. It took us into some really painful areas of our lives, but in doing so we were able to see why we reacted to each other the way we did and how we could benefit from this. We are still working on it, but at least we understand what’s going on between us. It has bought us closer together.

Carol, D.

I made an appointment to see Virginia because I couldn’t move forward with my life. I felt stuck in a bad business partnership. I felt intimidated and powerless to change anything. After just two appointments I was able to see why I my old business partner terrified me. When I understood this, I was able to see the whole relationship differently. It was still difficult to move forward, but seeing life from this way certainly made it easier than I thought. I know I won’t go on to make the same mistakes again.

John, C.

I highly recommend Conflict Alchemy for couples thinking of separating. Whilst my wife and I did separate in the end, which is not easy for anyone, we were able to move through the process with dignity and understanding. We learned why we were attracted to each other in the first place, which really helped us have a greater appreciation for how this relationship was formed in the first place.

Paul J.

I was surprised to see a lawyer care so much about my feelings. I learned so much about myself and why my life wasn’t working for me. Virginia showed me that there was actually nothing wrong with me. All I need to learn was how the choices I made helped me become empowered.

Julie, B.

I have always wondered why my partners left me. I came to see Virginia about a relationship breakdown and she took me through her Conflict Alchemy process. In just one session with her I realised that due to an event in my childhood, I couldn’t deal with being abandoned. This realisation made me feel like a huge wait was lifted off my shoulders. I feel so much better. I highly recommend this process if you feel like something is weighing you down.

Susan, B.

I have suffered from an eating disorder for as long as I can remember. Virginia’s conflict alchemy process showed me that I had been unable to set boundaries for myself, and that overeating was a just a way that I could feel safe. Her compassion and care helped me to see how this happened in my life. I have lost weight and feel so much better. Thank-you, Virginia.

Why is a lawyer doing this?

Lawyers are usually work in ways that foster separation rather than unity. I am a collaboratively trained lawyer, I hold a diploma in yoga teaching and have studied many modalities in wellness. My quest began approximately 7 years ago when I started questioning methodologies of legal practice and in the process discovered that suicide and depression within the legal profession was rife. My research showed me there was not an abundance of information for lawyers on wellness, and that which was available was in my mind inadequate.  It did not address the way lawyers approached their work. We work in conflict, yet are trained to see only our client’s part of the case from a limited and dare I say righteous perspective. This ultimately results in both lawyer and client dissatisfaction. I have written a book on this topic. Whilst written for lawyers, the principles are universal. If you’d like to take a look you can go here:

I have also trained in working with the human shadow. I went on to study Jung and many other works on the unconscious, individuation and integration of the psyche. It sits with me as a solution - that lawyers need to be able to facilitate space for a client when dealing with raw conflict. As Freud said, listening is healing. Unfortunately people do not tend to reach out to a counsellor when faced with a potential legal problem. They engage a lawyer in a hurt state generally wanting retribution.

Lawyers already delve into their clients’ personal details, however they approach it from a litigious perspective, as points to score against the other party rather than as clues to the healing essence of the relationship bond.

With the knowledge I have garnered from dealing with clients in conflict I have developed a process where the parties, are able to recognise the conflict they are facing has more to do with their own subconscious beliefs than they might have otherwise considered. In doing so, outcomes have been that blame and hurt are reduced and more effective solutions can be achieved, whether it be that parties move on together with this knowledge, or move apart but in a more graceful and dignified manner.

Either way, people able to approach a potential legal dispute in a more cost effective manner and experience personal growth in the process.

Conflicts are good for you!

Many people find that statement a bit far-fetched. But I can show you how every conflict appearing in your life is there for a purpose. It is there to show you how you can feel better.

Life is all about relationships. It’s the relationships in your life that offer you the clues in your quest to start feeling relief from life’s hardships. This is why working with your conflicts rather than avoiding them is the solution. My Conflict Alchemy process does this and offers a beautiful way of working through relationship complications where even couples are welcome to attend together.

For Couples

Through my 5 step program, you will each understand how your relationship contains the gifts you each need to grow as individuals.

 Conflict Alchemy releases much of the negative energy between you as a couple. It is a means to facilitate the initial stages of personal healing in viewing conflict from an entirely different perspective.

It’s a precursor to any legal intervention within those relationships. It also is of immense value in cases where you have to still have to co-parent post separation or would simply like to move forward with your lives in a civil and dignified manner.

For Individuals

Every choice we make is done with the hope that we will feel better by doing it. That’s human nature. We avoid pain at all costs. That’s why sometimes we self-medicate or make habits out of things that aren’t all that good for us. We sometimes do things that help us feel better temporarily. Some of them good, some of them not so good for us long term.

The choices we make in our lives are entirely dependent on our perception of life to date. That means all future choices are based on our past. For some of us, our past has left us feeling shame and mistrust. We cannot make sound and rational choices from that place. We might want to do something, but deep within us is a conflicting story that doesn’t support our desires. This gives rise to internal conflict and feelings of anxiety or depression.

Working with the Conflict Alchemy process shows you how the experiences in your life have shaped how you make your choices in the present and how to shift your way of thinking to release any limiting beliefs you hold.

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